In 2008, fellow IMDb reviewer Michael_Elliott wrote that he had seen around 80 Jess Franco films; dragonmaster0303 claimed to have seen 60 by 2007. I've only seen 38 to date and I'm already fraying at the edges.
At just 77 minutes, and bereft of Jess Franco's usual gynaecological camerawork, the version of Mansion of the Living Dead that I watched was clearly cut - all that was left was a lot of nudity from some not particularly attractive women, including Franco muse Lina Romay, who looked as though she'd eaten one too many churros.
Always dedicated to watching sleaze in its entirety, I sourced a longer version, which now included a couple of graphic lesbian trysts and some undead monk gang bang action. It didn't improve the film any, this being one of the most uninspired efforts I have seen from the director - a shame because the basic idea is a good one...
Romay plays one of four strippers who book a holiday at a plush hotel; however, when they arrive at their destination, they discover that the place is practically deserted, the only staff being the hotel manager and the gardener. They later discover that they have been tricked: the hotel has been closed for years, and the manager is one of the undead, part of an order of monks who were placed under a curse during the time of the inquisition.
Rather than mine this creepy premise for chills, scares and gory mayhem, Franco takes the lazy route by focussing on sex and nudity, which wouldn't be so bad if the ladies were smoking hot, but they just aren't. Romay and her pals wander through the corridors of the hotel in various states of undress, investigate each other's private parts, and, one by one, encounter the monks, who punish the women for their sins by raping and killing them (in gore-free fashion).
Some have likened this film to Amando de Ossorio's Blind Dead films, but really, the comparison is laughable and more than a bit insulting to Ossorio.
2/10. Help the time pass more painlessly by taking a drink every time Franco shows a close-up of the stone plaque engraved with "AVE MARIA 1792'.
Hopeless holiday horror at the Costa del Franco.