Great sets, check. Scenic locations, check. Blood, murder, and vengeance, check. Meandering script made this seem like it was over 3 hours long. Not impressed at all and was expecting much more.

I had a lot of anticipation for this film since the trailer first dropped on Youtube. Many of my favorite actors are in it. The only good thing I can say about it is that it is aesthetically pretty.

But visuals are only the cherry on top if a film has a solid interesting story and good actors. This film does not have a solid story. It's just a revenge flick. Holy cow is this film a snore fest. The worst part about it was the cringeworthy dialogue. This was not a script for the A-listers. I think Arnold did a better job with Conan the Barbarian. To quote a cliche, this is more image over substance. Why couldn't they just have the actors speak in ordinary English and make a solid story?

Honestly, they couldn't pay me enough to rewatch this film.

If the boats were very long then this is longer, but longevity doesn't make it any stronger, the accents are a grind, claustrophobic and confined, you'll feel peeled, pillaged, plundered and begrimed..

Wow. I can't even describe how horrible and unwatchable this movie is. The acting was useless -- even though I liked many of the actors' previous works. The story is useless. Typical Norse / Icelandic Saga -- only much worse. I will never get back the precious time I wasted watching this. If I would have paid money to see it I'd be demanding a refund.

You have been warned.

Well, the movie's cover/poster definitely was interesting enough to catch my attention. And I figured that with the movie's 7.8 rating on IMDb, in this writing moment, then I would be in for something grand here.

And I will admit that I was excited to see what writers Sjón and Robert Eggers had in store for me here with the 2 hours and 17 minutes that the movie ran for.

However, I must say that while "The Northman" was watchable, it was ultimately just another run-of-the-mill Viking-inspired movie, for better or worse. Sure, it was a watchable movie and entertaining enough for what it was. But don't get your hopes up for this one. If you've seen other Viking movies, or TV series for that matter, then you already know what you are in for here. Yeah, director Robert Eggers didn't deviate much from the how-to-make-a-Viking-saga-movie blueprint.

Visually then "The Northman" was interesting, as it definitely felt like an era-appropriate movie. I did like the props, costumes, sets, scenery, etc., because it definitely looked and felt like what is usually associated with the Vikings era.

"The Northman" has a good cast ensemble, with the likes of Alexander Skarsg?rd, Nicole Kidman, Claes Bang, Ethan Hawke and even Willem Dafoe. All great talents, sure, but some of them do raise a wondering sensation as to why they were cast for a Viking movie. But on the other hand, I will say that casting Icelandic singer Bj?rk for the movie, despite being a minor role and appearance, was just phenomenal.

Something that didn't sit well with me in "The Northman", was the fact that it was English language based. Sure, I understand that from a wider appeal to the audience approach. But it just feels wrong having Vikings speak English, it just takes away from the atmosphere and the believability. And also the supernatural aspects were somewhat baffling to me. Sure, I understand that the Valkyries are a part of Norse lore, but having a pale woman with retainers on her teeth screaming and sitting on a flying horse just doesn't really work.

I was expecting more than just your average generic Viking movie from director Robert Eggers, and I was somewhat disappointed when the movie just turned out to be a run-of-the-mill Viking movie. It could and should have been so much more, especially for a production of this magnitude.

While "The Northman" is watchable and entertaining enough for what it turned out to be, then this is hardly a movie that I will be returning to watch a second time.

My rating of "The Northman" lands on a six out of ten stars. It is the atmosphere, the brutality in the movie, and some of the performances that managed to snag the rating up from five to a six star rating for me.

It is very interesting to see the Viking world and culture. However, the rituals and howling noises totally turns me off. All this movie does is make a lot of noises. Maybe it's their culture to be that way, and maybe I can not stand these demonic rituals and the way they treat women and children. Too disturbing for my taste.

Good news is I did enjoyed the story and the acting. The fights, the trolling, and the final act wonderfully crafted and bought to light.

I can agree some May enjoy the film and others like me may not find it appealing. Just don't hate my review just because you don't agree!

Three of us in an empty theater, one fell asleep. LONG and windy road to nowhere. Suppose to be a trilogy, hope not. We got bored. Would not recommend. Beautiful scenery was the only winner here.

This was 50% drug trip and 50% trying to be "Conan of the Barbarians" but failing. It had good acting and the leads were believable but the frequent drug trips were offputting and it was very, very long. I went with friends and we all agreed we should have seen the new Nick Cage flick instead.

My Review - The NorthmanMy Rating 1/10

Possibly the worst film I've ever seen ?

Robert Eggers labelled as a visionary Director also co wrote this trash with someone called Sjón.

I'm not saying Robert Eggers isn't talented I gave his 2009 film "The Lighthouse " a 9/10 and enjoyed it immensely . It was also dark and depressing but superbly written and acted.

I'm also certainly not saying the rest of the cast in this salute to sadomasochism bad taste and male grunting and bonding are untalented either .

Why or how talented actors like Nicole Kidman , Willem Dafoe, Ethan Hawk, Alexander Skarsg?rd and Anya Taylor-Joy would tarnish their reputations to appear in a 136 minute depressing violent and naive movie that in my view is an insult to the heritage of the proud Viking race I can't answer probably because their million dollar salaries could have purchased some of the delightful Celtic jewellery in this bleak epic movie.

We've visited Viking museums in Norway and Denmark and seen the treasures and ships of these proud people who were of course violent and warlike but really no more than certain races are in our modern world I think it's insulting to parody a race or culture in such a depressing and frankly demeaning manner.

I generously give a 1/10 rating purely for the 2 laughs that I got out of it.

When Queen Gudrun's time to leave this mortal coil finally came and she simply says "thank you." so did I but I had to wait till the end titles of The Northman finally appeared on screen.

I turned to my favourite movie partner and just said " Do you realise that this film probably will make more than Stephen Spielberg's West Side Story at the box office .

We saw it on the Cinema screen and the sets special affects and monochrome depressing dark colour palette seemed as fake as the banal script .

It will be streaming eventually so my advice is wait till then when you can switch it off or grab a Valium to ease the depression. I nearly walked out but it was dark and I couldn't risk falling over.

Considering the trailer had the quote being said over and over again ("I will avenge you ... I will save you .. I will kill you ..." leaving the spaces on purpose in case someone has not seen the trailer, you can find out about that in the movie then), it is a bit surprising that the grown man we see seems to have forgotten about the words he uttered over and over again as a kid.

That being said, it does give another nice turning point and introduces us to an interesting and intriguing character. I am not too familiar with Vikings folklore and saga (I didn't even know much about the History behind the very good tv show Vikings), but I imagine Eggers did quite a bit of research. And I think you can tell by watching it. Even if I hadn't seen a video of him explaining one scene (the first time we see the adult version of out main character that is, on a boat), I could feel that there is a lot of authenticity in the movie.

That begins with the set and production design and goes beyond that to the lighting and costumes. The movie is quite dark and while they surely must have used artificial lighting (or at least some digital enhancement), it does feel like you only get the natural lighting that the scene provides. That is quite astounding, all things considered. Especially how producers and audiences want or are used their movies to look like.

Talking about looking like: if you are into handsome and well trained bodies, the movie will please with Skarsgard and his transformation - his physical appearance that is. But the movie does not only look good, it also sounds good. While the Green Knight still is something I will remember fondly when it comes to its sound design, this also makes the best use of music and general sounds to create an atmosphere that is truly amazing.

There is so much one can write about this and you do not even have to go into the revenge theme of the movie. Or the Valhalla saga - or anything related to the story. Or any of the specific characters - because while the movie seems straightforward, there are a couple of twists along the way. Although I kind of felt one of them more or less coming. Not all of the twist and I did not suspect the reasons behind it, but it did make sense the way it was presented.

If you have seen an Eggers movie (The Witch and The Lighthouse come to mind right now), you will be familiar that his movies are not easy. They are also not exactly something that anyone would call blockbuster material ... but they are very well done. And while this takes its time too, to get us to the good parts, there quite a few we will encounter. You can not be faint hearted or easily offended though. I suspect that what I read about producers interfering might have had some impact towards the end. Especially with one scene where the death of a character is not as graphic as it could be, because ... well political correctness and all that. But you'll understand once you see it.

Certain things seem inevitable ... and the movies end is one of them. Greatly achieved though - and so well shot. There could have been even more blood, but that doesn't mean that the movie holds back. Also the long tracking shots combined with the action they portray surely where quite hard to achieve anyway or as it is. I can highly recommend this - and I am happy I watched it in cinemas too.

Where do I start? No real drama. No character development. The most cornball dialogue. Sloppy plot. Poor use of a potentially spectacular landscape. Bland soundtrack. I think any episode of VIKINGS would surpass this film. I was blown away by how ordinary it was and almost walked out. It was cinema by numbers that added up to far less than its parts. This film should have been absolutely epic. Terribly disappointing. It was well over two hours of boredom. Anyone claiming it a masterpiece should be banned from entering Valhalla!

I was looking forward to "The Northman" due to a variety of different reasons.... or, if I'm being honest, just one: Anya Taylor-Joy. The talented, gorgeous seductress she is, once I learned that she would play a starring role in this film, I knew I had to see it on the largest screen possible. Unfortunately, the theatre I went to had an unfortunately small screen that certainly detracted from my viewing experience; maybe this was a strategic move, however, on the part of the studio, as now I will be going to see this movie again at a different cinema, preferably one with a bigger silver screen. And as I am so willing to go pay to see this movie again, surely I must have loved it.... right? Wrong - and don't call me Shirley.

"The Northman" is no doubt overhyped. Directed by Robert Eggers, who has made "The Witch" (which I adore) and "The Lighthouse" (which I haven't yet seen), "The Northman" is his third feature, one that was making a name for itself before it was even released due to how well-received his previous two movies were. In all honesty, it seems like people were ready to love this without even having seen it yet, and I believe that, because of this excitement, people (critics included) are having a difficult time looking at this movie objectively - because with all there is to appreciate, there is also an equal amount to criticize.

Anya Taylor-Joy is perfection, as always - she's not just beautiful, but she is proving her range as an actress in each and every role she chooses. Yes, she may have been my reason for buying a ticket to this, but I was equally as impressed with virtually everyone in here. Alexander Skarsg?rd is one of my favorite actors, and he was very effective as a monstrous brooding brute. Ethan Hawke and Nicole Kidman also do well with what they have; in short, the acting is good - that is, when the script allows it to be. Because, even though the actors and actresses are clearly committed to their parts, the script is full of borderline embarrassing dialogue. Conversations have no substance to them, with people speaking as if they've never spoken before. Many lines are simplistic to the extreme, almost as if they were written by a mediocre fan fiction writer. You can almost look past it due to the clear competence of the performers, but my near constant eye rolls had me wishing for a better screenplay.

If you've seen the trailer for this, you already know the movie looks incredible - and it does. My eyes were constantly glued to the screen, soaking up the scenery. Similarly, my ears found themselves honed in on the soundtrack; basically a star in and of itself, the score here booms through the theatre sound systems. Ominous and engrossing, the soundtrack is nearly constant, seeping everything in a sense of horror and unease - and it's effective (and so loud that, even if you find yourself bored, you won't be able to fall asleep). Visually and audibly, "The Northman" is 100% worth the price of admission. From a plot and story perspective, however, you'll find it lacking.

"The Northman" has a simplistic story - perhaps too simplistic for its own good. Following a young Viking prince on his quest to avenge his father's murder, you'd think that Eggers would have something unique up his sleeve. I assumed that he'd either fill this movie with great action and have this be his entry into blockbuster filmmaking, or if not that, at the least attempt to throw a wrench in what is otherwise a traditional revenge movie. Alas, he does neither! "The Northman" does not have enough action to qualify as a satisfying action movie (granted, the action is filmed well, but is surprisingly tame and not as bloody as I expected or wanted) nor does it have enough plot twists to switch things up from average revenge fare. The movie meanders, barely picking up any steam except for the occasional burst of violence. You'll spend a lot of time watching characters engage in uninteresting conversations that could've been interesting with better dialogue. You'll see psychedelic dream sequences that are unique the first time, and then quickly overplayed by the second, third, fourth, and fifth time. The story lacks focus; so sure, while you'll see a visual feast of Norse culture that never really leads anywhere, you'll also find yourself asking whether you're watching a revenge movie or a historically accurate portrayal of 900 A. D. life.

In many ways "The Northman" delivers. It's great to look at (and not just because of Anya Taylor-Joy), with truly immersive world building that draws viewers in with overwhelming sights and sounds. This is a brutal film, one that's not afraid to show Norse culture as it was. This is also a film that has a shocking lack of direction. While I would never say I was bored or disengaged, I can say I found myself slightly confused at the way the movie plodded along; for a movie that's over two hours, not much happens, and when things do happen, it isn't very interesting. I was disappointed in "The Northman," but even so, cannot deny the quality of its technical aspects - I only wish that quality carried over in the storytelling.

My impression of this film is that they shot a few cool viking scenes - and decided to make a story around it and just sew it together.

Starts of pretty awkward then moves on to some cool raiding then it's back to awkward drama and weird scenes. Then it's a lot of fight talking then it's drama again. Then it's hallucinations and finally the movie ends.

Alexander is a BEAST but the movie is so poorly edited and the story is.... Predictable.

Beautiful scenery but... I nearly fell asleep.

If you know the story of Hamlet much of this will be familiar. Add a splash of "Conan The Barbarian" and you're in for a wild ride. I love revenge flicks but this one will have you a little taken back by the fact that it isn't exactly a clean situation. A boy sees his entire family sacked and takes to fates and a mantra of exacting revenge to dole out his justice and regain his birthright. However as he gets closer to the truth our perception flips due to complex dynamics. Honor, betrayal and deep seeded anger drive Amleth (Alexander Skaarsgard) which has moments of redemption but a wild feral man consumed by violence knows not a peaceful life. I found myself leaning into the mythical tale. Grounded by the rawness of the feudal society. You will get that visceral pain which a blade of steel runs through human flesh. This has the bruality of "Excalibur" as well. Director Robert Eggers thrives in swampy worlds. The lyrically ugly nature of humans in the wild. Everyone's just trying to survive. I pity anyone who lacks the physical fortitude to survive in this world.

Excellent commitment of Anna Taylor Joy when she calls on the winds of the north, it is exhilerating to watch. Beautiful vistas and deeply miserable conditions makes this a big screen experience.

I'll need to watch again.

I'll start with the good. The Icelandic scenery is strikingly beautiful, ... um, I guess that's it.

The rest is an utter disaster. The screenplay is perhaps the worst of all, being completely derivative. The story is mainly that of Hamlet (and in case we don't get it, the main character is even named Hamlet). Some elements of the plot have been borrowed from The Last Kingdom. Much of the imagery comes from Lord of the Rings. The dialogue is stilted, phony, dull and predictable. The entire movie comes across as a series of cliches, pretty much every Viking stock scene is played for us in succession but with no point or purpose. You're never quite sure if this is meant to be a fantasy story or a realistic one, and while it's never convincing enough for realism, it's not mythical enough to be a saga. And the carnage... two-plus hours of unabated slaughter.

Spare yourself the agony, and don't waste your money. If it's Vikings your after, check out The Last Kingdom instead.

I wanted to like this movie. I really did. Anything novel and not Marvel. But, unfortunately, this movie was dark, slow and not engaging. It started off with the harsh power of humanity to endure hardship and to impose it, but then went flat with the story. Nothing to learn, no one to love or hate, nothing to make you a character. Not intending the ultimate insult, but perhaps it is: you never forget you're watching a movie. You don't become one with it. However, it could win an Academy award for the production or costumes, but none of that makes up for a dark, slow and non-engaging story.

THE NORTHMAN (2022) **** Alexander Skarsgard, Nicole Kidman, Claes Bang, Ethan Hawke, Anna Taylor-Joy, Willem Dafoe, Bjork. Filmmaker Robert Eggers' tone poem take on the Viking mythos focuses on the vendetta of vengeance that Amleth (an imposing yet vulnerable Skarsgard) seeks in the murder of his king father (Hawke) at the hands of his malignant uncle that echoes Shakespeare's MacBeth in oh so many ways. Cast with an impressive array of talent including Kidman as his mother with shades of Lady MacBeth and Taylor-Joy as his kindred spirit soulmate. Beautifully shot by Jarin Blaschke and a production design by Craig Lathrop transports you back to 895 AD with on location shooting in Northern Ireland adding to its epic visage overall. Brutal, brooding, dank and doom enlists the film with the ranks of SPARTACUS, BRAVEHEART & GLADIATOR with a hint of Inigo Montoya's blood oath of redemption; one of the year's very best.

This is probably the only Viking-related entertainment I have ever watched to thoroughly respect and appreciate our heritage. What a fantastic cast, cinematography and blend of realism and the supernatural. Absolutely masterfully crafted.

Netflix and Marvel can try their best to ruin the image of my ancestors. All I can say is thank god for Eggers and The Northman.

The Northman is unlike anything that has been released this year. Anya Taylor Joy killed it once again in her role. The whole cast was spectacular. I left the theater with my jaw hanging it was unbelievable. I thought I was on the set of this movie that's how real this felt. The last time I saw anything this good was last months The Batman.

This movie is a must see film for any history buff or really anyone. The fight scenes are some of the best and most brutal that I have ever seen I thought I was going to get sick they were that good. I hope the Oscars remember this movie because this should win some awards.

11/10.

Like his memorable period piece freak-outs "The Witch" and "The Lighthouse," though on a vastly more ambitious scale, bloody and deliciously violent. The Northman is a big-budget epic, but it retains those indie roots, and in " Robert Eggers " fashion , very aesthetically pleasing. This film delivers ! Powerhouse performances and otherworldly imagery . I highly recommend at some point to see this blood-soaked odyssey !! Sooner rather than later. A cinematic saga. The cast in this one is absolutely incredible. Check out the cast ....The Northman starring Alexander Skarsgard, Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicole Kidman, Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, and Bj?rk.